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Facing the Fears That Ruin Relationships

 

Go to Genesis 3:6-19 and look at the very first relationship.

 

THE 3 BASIC FEARS THAT RUIN RELATIONSHIPS

 

  1. My fear of exposure makes me distant.
    •  TRUTH– There’s a lot you don’t like about you and since you do not accept it, you don’t want others to see it because they might reject it too.
    •  Genesis 3:6-19
    •  The damage fear does to relationships happens in 3 stages
      • Phase 1– Shame– Genesis 3:7a– Fear is often base on shame
      • Phase 2– The Cover up– Genesis 3:7b– We try to conceal our true self
      • Phase 3– Distance from God– Genesis 3:8– God does not expect perfect.
    • God expects honesty.   

 

  1. My fear of disapproval makes me defensive. We move from hiding to hurting, from excusing to excusing.  We start to blame, attack, point fingers…
    • TRUTH– The more I fear disapproval, the more I’ll point at others. 
    • Genesis 3:12-13

 

  1. My fear of losing control makes me demanding. The more out–of-control you feel, the more controlling you become.  (Bullies!)  The more insecure you are, the greater your need to get your way. 
    • Genesis 3:16

 

HOW DO I LEARN TO LIVE IN GOD’S LOVE?  3 DAILY CHOICES

 

“Wherever God’s love is, there is no fear, because God’s perfect love drives out all fear.  It is the thought of punishment (negative consequences) that makes a person fearful.”  1 John 4:18

 

  1. Everyday surrender my heart to God. God is love.  The closer I get to God, the more loving I will be.  Job 11:13-18

 

  1. Everyday remember the way God love me

            -I am completely accepted.  Titus 3:7

            -I am unconditionally loved.  Isaiah 54:10

            -I am totally forgiven.  Romans 8:1

            -I am considered extremely valuable.  1 Corinthians 7:23

 

  1. Everyday offer that same love to others. John 13:34, Romans 15:7, 1 Corinthians 13:7

            -Accept others like Jesus accepts me

            -Love others like Jesus loves me

            -Forgive others like Jesus forgives me

            -Value others like Jesus values me