Facing the Fears That Ruin Relationships
Go to Genesis 3:6-19 and look at the very first relationship.
THE 3 BASIC FEARS THAT RUIN RELATIONSHIPS
- My fear of exposure makes me distant.
- TRUTH– There’s a lot you don’t like about you and since you do not accept it, you don’t want others to see it because they might reject it too.
- Genesis 3:6-19
- The damage fear does to relationships happens in 3 stages
- Phase 1– Shame– Genesis 3:7a– Fear is often base on shame
- Phase 2– The Cover up– Genesis 3:7b– We try to conceal our true self
- Phase 3– Distance from God– Genesis 3:8– God does not expect perfect.
- God expects honesty.
- My fear of disapproval makes me defensive. We move from hiding to hurting, from excusing to excusing. We start to blame, attack, point fingers…
- TRUTH– The more I fear disapproval, the more I’ll point at others.
- Genesis 3:12-13
- My fear of losing control makes me demanding. The more out–of-control you feel, the more controlling you become. (Bullies!) The more insecure you are, the greater your need to get your way.
- Genesis 3:16
HOW DO I LEARN TO LIVE IN GOD’S LOVE? 3 DAILY CHOICES
“Wherever God’s love is, there is no fear, because God’s perfect love drives out all fear. It is the thought of punishment (negative consequences) that makes a person fearful.” 1 John 4:18
- Everyday surrender my heart to God. God is love. The closer I get to God, the more loving I will be. Job 11:13-18
- Everyday remember the way God love me
-I am completely accepted. Titus 3:7
-I am unconditionally loved. Isaiah 54:10
-I am totally forgiven. Romans 8:1
-I am considered extremely valuable. 1 Corinthians 7:23
- Everyday offer that same love to others. John 13:34, Romans 15:7, 1 Corinthians 13:7
-Accept others like Jesus accepts me
-Love others like Jesus loves me
-Forgive others like Jesus forgives me
-Value others like Jesus values me